He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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