I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
