better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize