Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
