I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
