oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
