His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
