is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Ladies don't puke and tell
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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