i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
