did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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