Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize