escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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