I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize