people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
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