I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize