Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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