she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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