We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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