So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
