Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
