are you so shy because you have an std?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
