is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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