I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
