just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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