You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I need moral support for this bender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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