why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
