We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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