Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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