just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
