I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
