Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
