I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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