I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
