rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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