He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
