I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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