i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize