I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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