Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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