I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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