That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just had sex on a roof
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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