North Korea, Best Korea!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
its liver damage thursday
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
