She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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