I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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