another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
