no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
