and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
