There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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