Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There are leaves in my underwear?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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