I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
