Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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