remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
