Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
