You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
