guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
